"Driving Me Crazy"

April 2009; Looking into that sweet face....how could I ever feel like you are driving me crazy? However, despite many people getting confused and caught up in the meaning of "driving me crazy", you do sometimes. Let me clarify myself; when i say you are driving me crazy, I do NOT mean that I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I am NOT going to beat you speechless. I am NOT going to leave and never come home. I am NOT going to give up on you. I am NOT going to delegate your care to others while I sit idly by and do nothing.

I am NOT going to criticize you into submission. I am NOT going to neglect you. I am NOT going to make you or myself a "victim" in our home. I am NOT going to EVER turn my back on you!

I WILL love you for ever. I WILL love you for Always. I WILL love you No Matter What. I WILL have bad days. I WILL have moments when I need a time out, or you do, or we both do. I WILL have days that I just need to get out of the house for R&R. I WILL demand, or allow your Daddy to help me! I WILL put you in the corner to contemplate your behavior. I WILL teach you what is right and wrong! I WILL expect respect from you and give it in return. I WILL cry sometimes. I WILL be okay!

People seem to get anxious when they hear me say, "you're driving me crazy". I don't really know why. Maybe they think I am being critical. Maybe they think I am at my wits end and ready to just literally give up on you! That is NOT the case. I have my own reasons, and I will not stop saying it. Sometimes, you DO drive me crazy, or almost. I just make sure that I take the requisite time for myself to relax. when you are "driving me crazy", you are basically working my nerves in a way that causes me to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, and in need of a time out. It usually means you are not listening well, or you are engaging in unacceptable behavior repetitively even when I have told you or asked you to stop. given the fact that you aren't even 3 yet...I do have some empathy for that fact and understanding of your developmental lack of self control. Thank goodness I outgrew that developmental stage WAY before I became a parent. And I understand that you will too someday!!!

To parents who feel this way sometimes....have hope. Have faith. Have love. Have fun!!! Remember to laugh often with your kids. Talk about your feelings, your attitudes, your need for R&R. Take time for yourself..even if only 20 minutes for a hot bath. With most kids, sitting down with a good book or books, will get them to sit still, and can soothe you both. Find activities such as reading or other ones you enjoy that can calm you both, and the atmosphere in the home. Try new techniques.

My son gets in these moods when he repeatedly jumps on me. Not his dad, me! It only lasts for a matter of minutes, but boy does it "drive me crazy"....lol I know it passes, so I try to turn him around by making a game out of horse play. I twirl him around, give him a ride on my back, , chase him around the furniture. It seems to make him happy, and still burn off that access energy. We both end up laughing and having a good time. When that is over, he is done jumping on me, and I feel more relaxed. It's just like the old saying...."if you can't beat them, join them!" Thats what I have to do. Now, when I had my son, this was all a big surprise to me. My daughter never did this kind of thing. She never bit, kicked, hit, jumped on me, threw toys. She was quite agreeable over all. Though I remember from about 1 1/2 to 3 she loved having her back lightly scratched. She would lay on me at bedtime and beg me to touch her back. I would be falling asleep and she would say in a little mouse of a voice.."mommy, more, more mommy." Oh, that would drive me crazy!!! But I did it, knowing somewhere deep inside me that she wouldn't always lay with me, and want me to touch her in a loving way like that. Boy was I right. I happens to the best, most loving parents. Kids grow up, they change, they become independant teens. Then they become adults and leave home. Then who will jump on you? Who will beg? Who will throw their toys for you to fetch? Who will play with their applesauce? Who will you read to? Who will wake up at unforgivable hours of the morning and demand to be fed breakfast? Who will you demand a break from....ok, maybe husbands...? Who will get playdough and chewing gum in the carpet? Who will whine and say NO? Who will refuse to get to bed when told? Who will need to be put in time out?...ok, maybe husbands again!

On the other hand, who will you rock to sleep? Who will you read favorite stories to? Who will you sing lullabies to? Who will hold your hand crossing the street? Who will cry for you when you go out? Who will ask you for a kiss on a boo boo? Who will smile sweetly at you and say " I love you mommy?" ok, husbands could do this one...yes? Who will run to you for hugs upon waking up? Who will look to you for guidance when misled? Who will willingly go with you to the park, or playground? Who will be your biggest champion in your own efforts...well come on husbands!? Who? For a time you, my darling baby. AFter that, ME!

Of course you "drive me crazy" sometimes!!!!

Of course I LOVE YOU ALL THE TIME!!!! For Ever and For Always, No Matter What!!!!!