Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Days Gone By

Ever get to remembering days gone by? If you're human I bet you do. And if you are like me, the older you get, the more often you do this. Days gone by that I think of most are when my daughter, now almost 19, was just a little baby, toddler, and preschooler. She was so much fun when she was little. Not that she isn't fun anymore, but I had her all to myself back in those days. She was a talker, and had beautiful blonde wavy hair. Big blue eyes, and she always had a smile ready for anyone. I raised Kaili much like I am currently raising my son. I disciplined her when necessary, taught her to be kind to others, and always remember her manners. Manners you say!? What's the point? Well let me just say, manners can get you lots of things, and to lots of places you might not otherwise get. Manners make life easier. Being polite, and well mannered can go a long way with people. Most people anyway. Not teaching your child to be polite, use their manners, and to serve others is a grave mistake made by far too many parents. I am not saying that teaching these things is easy, just very worth your while.
I always encouraged Kaili to do what was right! And she grew up knowing the difference between right and wrong, and having a desire to do the right thing. As a result, her best friends have always admired that about her, respected her choices to do what is right, and really like the fact that she is a loyal, trustworthy friend/person. In all her 19 yrs, My daughter has only lied to me twice. One time being when she was only 3. I grabbed that bull by the horns and took care of it right away. She knew that I meant business and that I wasn't going to put up with any sort of story telling whatsoever.
Some of the most important tools for raising honest, kind, hard working kids:
  • Consistancy
  • Honesty
  • Discipline
  • Responsibility
  • Accountability
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Tough Love
  • High Standards
  • Leading by example

These are just a few, there are so many more. I always have room for improvement in each area at any given time, but I try my best every day to be aware of where I am in each area.

Raising Kaili wasn't always a walk in the park, but for sure, it was fun, fulfilling, challenging, joyful, and I miss it. I would never trade that time for all the money in the world.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

B.L.I.S.S.

So what does B.L.I.S.S. mean? According to the dictionary it means: Utter Joy and contentment, supreme happiness. And in terms of Motherhood, and parenting, well it also means utter joy and contentment, and supreme happiness.
To me, here, it means this: Because Love, I Said So!!!!!!! That one phrase we most likely heard when we ourselves were growing up and maybe some of you, like me, promised you would never say it to your own children. So, how are you doing with that commitment? I did make that promise to myself, and subsequently broken it many times. The fact is that when many issues are in need of explaining, and some discussion, there are other times that call for a simple "Because love, I said so!" there may be dangerous situations that need immediate and swift reprimands with no time for explanation. There are times when a topic is too delicate for the age or circumstances. Then there are times when, as a mom, one just feels overwhelmed with always having to explain herself that the only thing left to say is, "because love, I said so!" there are even times, (in my life as a mother anyway), that "because love, I said so" is all they are going to get no matter what because I just shouldn't have to explain my every decision to a minor child. No means NO and yes means YES! That's it! No more! Maybe means MAYBE, and we'll see, means exactly that! give me a moment, let me think, I can't decide, I won't decide, I can't think about that now....these are all phrases that I utter to myself while deciding which one I will use on my child. When my daughter was little I rarely had need to say these things, but as she became older and had more questions than answers and felt she was deserving of more answers i found myself wanting to resort to B.L.I.S.S. And now, with my son, I could so see myelf uttering B.L.I.S.S. every single day!!! How dreadful is that? I just WANT BLISS!!!!! Oh and where to find it? At the spa, at the Grand Canyon, in Hawai'i, on vacation, in my sleep at night, in a Great book? All these places/things, but also I do find that sometimes there is Bliss in being a mom, in watching your child take their first breath, step, utter their first word, ask their first question. The times when I feel so proud of what I am doing is when my son tells me, "you can do it mom!" when I am doubtful of accomplishing a feat he wants me to try. It is then I hear my own voice/words coming right back at me. What a powerful message that is. Continue on with powerful messages even if sometimes that message is simply, "Because Love, I Said So!"